When a child is diagnosed with cancer, it brings a wave of emotions, confusion, and many difficult questions. Both the child facing the illness and their siblings often have questions that can be challenging to answer. Providing honest, age-appropriate answers helps them cope with the situation and maintain a sense of security during a very uncertain time.
Common Questions a Child with Cancer Might Ask
Children diagnosed with cancer will inevitably have questions about what is happening to their bodies and what the future holds. They might ask questions such as:
“Why did I get cancer?” - Children might blame themselves for their illness, thinking they did something wrong to cause it. It’s crucial to explain that cancer is not their fault and that it can happen to anyone. Reassure them that nothing they did caused the cancer.
“Will I get better?” - Depending on the prognosis, this can be a tough question to answer. It's important to focus on the positive efforts the doctors are making to help them get better while being honest about the uncertainty that sometimes accompanies medical treatment. You can also emphasize that doctors and nurses are working hard to help them fight the illness.
“Will the treatments hurt?” - Children often worry about pain, especially when they know treatments like chemotherapy can be tough. Let them know that some treatments might be uncomfortable but that doctors will do everything they can to minimize pain. Emphasizing that pain doesn’t mean treatments aren’t working can help manage their fears.
Common Questions a Sibling Might Ask
Siblings of children with cancer are often caught between concern for their sibling and their own feelings of fear or jealousy. They might ask:
“Will I get cancer too?” - It’s important to explain that cancer isn’t contagious and that they won’t catch it from their sibling. This reassurance can ease fears that often arise from misunderstanding.
“Why does my brother/sister get all the attention now?” - Siblings might feel overlooked as the focus shifts to the child with cancer. Acknowledge their feelings and explain that while their sibling needs more attention right now, they are just as important and loved. Making time to be with healthy siblings, even in small ways, helps reinforce this message.
“Why does my brother/sister look so different?” - Physical changes, such as hair loss and weight fluctuations, can be alarming for siblings. Prepare them for these changes before they happen, explaining why these changes occur and reassuring them that their sibling is still the same person.
Helping Children Handle Tough Conversations
Children who are ill and their siblings will likely face questions from friends, classmates, and even strangers. It can help to practice responses with your child in advance so they feel prepared. For example, children with cancer can say, “I have cancer, and the doctors are helping me get better,” while siblings might say, “My brother/sister is sick, but they are getting treatment to feel better soon."
It’s also important to remind children that they don’t have to answer questions if they don’t want to. Giving them permission to say, “I don’t want to talk about it right now,” empowers them to manage difficult conversations on their own terms.
Support Jacie’s Kids or Become a Corporate Sponsor
Navigating the complex emotions and questions that arise from childhood cancer is a challenge no family should face alone. At Jacie’s Kids, we provide support for families dealing with pediatric cancer, helping children and their siblings cope with their emotions and stay strong through this difficult time.
To support our mission or to become a corporate sponsor, visit our donate page or learn about sponsorship opportunities on our corporate sponsorship page. For additional information, feel free to contact us at 516-242-1564 or email info@jacieskids.org.
Helping children with cancer and their siblings answer difficult questions is just one part of the support we provide to help families thrive during challenging times.
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